How Giselle Pelicot Made Us Feel Better
She refused to wear the guilt and shame. And gave it back to perpetrators.
There can hardly be anyone who doesn’t know the name Giselle Pelicot. The woman who defied the dubious safety of anonymity, who threw intimate privacy constraints to the ground, who sat through the trial of her husband and more than fifty other men who he had invited to her home to rape her while she was in a drugged coma. That Giselle Pelicot.
[Untitled Acrylic paint on cardboard 25 x 18 cm www.solekart.com /2024 + / Whangamomona]
She propelled herself to the centre, to own the show, not as a victim but as a powerful woman, front and centre in the trial of her husband and the other ‘ordinary’ men become rapists. They were all found guilty and convicted and given prison terms, at least somewhat commensurate with their crimes.
‘…it forms part of her handing back the blame and shame, not only to her husband and the other rapists, but to the system that has tended to protect and favour the perpetrators of sexual violence against women and girls.’
I dropped Giselle Pelicot into my last substack, Trauma vs Badass Resilience, in relation to handing back blame and shame to perpetrators. After that drop I realised that she was the intentional energy in her own Systemic and Family Constellation that encircled the world. We, beyond the court, the city, France - were potential Representatives. We were drawn into the field in breathtaken horror at the crimes, and admiration of Giselle Pelicot’s unwavering matter of factness and her crushing calm. These qualities are the implacable core of Constellations: phenomenology; undramatic expression; powerful intentional energy.
The undeniable evidence provided by her husband’s carefully filed and curated video records of the multiple crimes must surely have sealed the guilty verdicts, despite the mewling pitiful excuses and denials of many of the men who raped her. There is a lot to say about that lack of comprehension, whether feigned or real, of consent and refusal, and related issues, but here I want to focus on the importance of shifting of blame and shame, so concisely articulated by Ms Pelicot, and how that relates to Systemic/Family Constellations therapy. Her wish is that her defiant stand and the course of the trial - her magnificent Constellation - will inform other trials, juries and judges and public opinion.
‘We were drawn into the field in breathtaken horror at the crimes, and admiration of Giselle Pelicot’s unwavering matter of factness and her crushing calm. These qualities are the implacable core of Constellations: phenomenology; undramatic expression; powerful intentional energy. ‘
Regarding the latter, we will see, and surely it will influence some in the proper direction. In any case, that wish on her part is an essential part of her handing back the blame and shame, not only to her husband and the other rapists, but to the system that has tended to protect and favour the perpetrators of sexual violence against women and girls.
The conclusion of the Constellation consists in the perpetrators being thrown out aka imprisoned, and Giselle Pelicot walking from it with her head high, into the throng of well wishers, while the weight of the shame and blame is squarely on the men who raped her, where it should be.
We can hope that that very public Constellation works radical magic. That it becomes a long overdue, long wished for game changer.
[I have chosen not to post a photo of Giselle Pelicot, though I assume it would be easy to lift one.]
Copyright Karen Sole
manawa family constellations - heart breath emotion
www.manawafamilyconstellations.com
Next globally accessible workshop 16 March 2025. See website for details. Karen Sole is a member of the International Institute for Complementary Therapists, and of the International Systemic Constellations Association (isca-network.org), and a member of ANZCI, the Aotearoa New Zealand Constellation Incorporated. She took her first training from Yildiz Sethi yildizsethi.com of familyconstellations.com.au . Karen's profile can be found on the above organisational sites. She participates in regular professional supervision, facilitator member constellations of ANZCI, ISCA, and informal international groups of experienced credentialed facilitators.